SOCIETY DEFICIENCY: BRAVERY
photo by Isicle
How many people have resisted raising their hand in class or asking their boss a question because it might look like we are struggling?
Reshma Saujani said, "We have to begin to undo the socialization of perfection."
Saujani is the speaker of Ted Talk's "Teach Girls Bravery, Not Perfection," which can help us boldly chase our dreams and reach our full potential without fear of failure.
"So many women I talk to tell me that they gravitate towards careers and professions that they know they're going to be great in, that they know they're going to be perfect in, and it's no wonder why," Saujani said.
From a young age, Saujani said girls are taught to avoid risks. We're taught to smile, be pretty and play it safe. However, boys are taught, "to play rough, swing high, crawl to the top of the monkey bars and then just jump off headfirst."
She said by the time they are adults, they associate risk taking with rewards.
Women on the other hand, have learned from a young age that we need to aspire to be perfect—we need to be overly cautious so that we aren't inviting failure into our lives.
It might sound great, right? No failure? But then, we never meet our full potential.
We miss out on success, we miss out on achieving our wildest dreams, and we miss out on learning perseverance and respect for ourselves.
This difference results in men pushing forward and women holding back. But why hold back half of the population to cultivate growth for our community and discourage innovation from women because we may stray away from perfection?
Saujani provided proof with a study completed in the '80s by psychologist, Carol Dweck, which assigned a complicated project to fifth graders and observed their reactions. She found the boys feeling energized by the challenged and willing to take a risk, whereas the girls—even with the highest IQ—were willing to give up because they'd rather be seen as perfect than going through the process of trial and error.
Alongside this study, Saujani also cited a Hewlett Packard report that found “men will apply for a job if they meet only 60 percent of the qualifications.” But women, on the other hand, will only apply if they meet 100 percent of the qualifications.
So society—yes, I mean us—have created a bravery deficit. You see, that in order to achieve perfection we must stay in our comfort zones so we don't embarrass ourselves, but where is the growth in that?
Saujani said it's our responsibility to change the societal norms. To flourish ourselves with positivity and create a sisterhood bond to let girls and women know that we are not alone. Creating a strong system will invite bravery, but also perseverance into our lives in order to achieve our highest goal.
We must choose progress over perfection. We must praise individuality over goodness. But most importantly, we must retrain our thoughts and see the beauty in bravery rather than aspiring to be perfect.
Take a chance, it might lead you to a place bigger than you have ever imagined.