THE RECIPE OF TOLERANCE
photo by Isicle
Now, more than ever, we're faced with diversity coming from every angle and aspect and we're pressured to act a certain way to make people happy and to get the most likes on social media. Nowadays, it's almost like in order to fit in we must meet everyone's expectations, but when is enough, enough?
Ugh I hate to admit it, but yes, I do it all the time. I am probably the biggest people pleaser you will ever meet. And for those of you who can relate, it's not a bad thing, just sometimes we need to find time for ourselves and do things that align with our values. Sounds simple, but recently it seems like in order to join the crowd, we must alter our own morals.
This is why the word tolerance is more important than ever.
Ultimately, I think we all want unity—we want to embrace harmony and maybe in fact, the differences of others might be exactly the missing pieces of our puzzles that will allow us to see the world in a different light. However, somewhere along the way, that harmony breaks and we find ourselves on two sides of the spectrum—"the tolerance spectrum" (as I like to call it).
We either lose track of our moral compasses in order to change who we are so we can make more "friends" or we completely disregard everyone's beliefs and view ourselves as the mighty one—you know, the one who is always "right."
When was the last time you changed your standards because it made you feel like you were part of the crowd or the last time you altered your ideas because you're a people pleaser, or maybe because you didn't "approve" of someone you viewed everything they represented as wrong?
Tolerance is not the mindset of “all or nothing.” It doesn't mean that in order to tolerate something or someone that it requires your full approval, but it also doesn’t mean you have to change your values to achieve tolerance.
This is where is gets complicated and why the word has lost it's meaning.
photo by Isicle
Tolerance—which I find to be a beautiful word—requires grace and persistence. You need grace to accept others for their differences. Now, people don’t want to be defined by one aspect—think of ethnicity, race, religion, education, sexuality and gender.
According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, tolerance means “willingness to accept feelings, habits, or beliefs that are different from your own.” With grace, this is achievable because it allows one to find dignity to honor someone else’s values even if they are different from yours.
However, persistence is also needed in this recipe. Accepting someone’s morals doesn’t at all mean to change your feelings or habits—these make up the core of who you are. It does mean that you find the balance to honor someone’s thoughts and beliefs, but if they don’t match yours then it doesn’t require you to please them by changing yourself.
I challenge you to breathe and accept the people who are different than you, but also know that your beliefs and feelings are just as important as theirs. Acknowledge the way they view the world, while staying close with your moral compass—combining both is quite intriguing.
This IS tolerance.