THE FINE LINE
Photo by Isicle
How many times do you say "fine" in a day?
We've probably said it more than we can count, right? But the truth is many of those times we are not "fine."
"The average person tells 4 lies a day or 1460 lies a year; a total of 87,600 by the age of 60. And the most common lie is: I'm Fine."
We come across people everyday, who ask the typical: How are we? Is everything ok? How's life? And as routine-like as they are, our answers become just as routinely.
We usually respond after a quick mental overview of our feelings with "fine."
It's easier, right? Everything is bright, and yes, "fine and dandy." But that's because we've trained ourselves to suppress the feelings, to act as though no one needs to know our struggles or our successes.
And yes, I don't mean pour out every ounce of frustration, happiness and sadness to every person that asks you the casual "how are you" question. But when did it become ok to not express how we feel?
Think of the memes that are circulating, the ones that show what we say vs. what we really mean.
As accurate as they are and yes, sometimes funny, they also are bit disturbing. Suddenly, we start attaining to be the cool, go-with-the-flow, laid-back girl or guy.
Trust me, I've been there. I don't want to seem like the uptight type, or even the "crazy" type.
(I put the word crazy in quotes because I think society now sees that if you are expressive, that you're crazy.)
We coincide the words desirable, attractive, pleasing with the words calm, cool and collected. And if you aren't easy-going, you're not desirable, right? (Desirable in a sense of being a friend, soulmate or business partner.)
I look at the word "fine" as a half-hearted, boring word. People who matter to you, want to know how you are. I can't tell you how refreshing it is to actually have a conversation with someone who is vulnerable and honest, even if it is just for a few minutes.
But I know what you're thinking, it's hard to be vulnerable and no one wants someone to instantly pour out everything just because they were asked how they are doing. But those vulnerable people, don't silence their feelings or emotions by pushing them aside.
Don't give into the humdrum life of being "fine" all the time.
Talk about who you are and how you feel—more than likely it will be different tomorrow. But that doesn't make you crazy, and if it does so be it (insert eye rolling emoji).
The people who are feeling, dreaming, thinking, questioning and creating are the people who find the most inspiration—the ones who add a dose of freshness to life. They aren't overlooking the things that make them happy or sad, and they certainly aren't replacing their feelings with "fine."
So, how are you?
Side Note:
After I wrote this, I coincidently had a conversation with someone who asked how I was, and I said "Fine,"(ugh, such a habit). I asked her in return and she responded with "Stressed," and gave a small synopsis on why. It wasn't too much and it wasn't too little, but it was an honest answer and such an ironic moment that really validated my thoughts about why we should stop saying "I'm fine," and speak our emotions.